we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
