Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
