I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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