i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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