I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Randomize
