My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
