you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
