It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
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Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
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OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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