just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
