Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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