I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
