Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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