clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Congratulations! We have a period
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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