I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
