Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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