he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
