I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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