I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
