dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize