I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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