I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
