I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
