**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
