I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
