my vag is so smooth its legendary
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
A bitchslap is in order.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
