i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
