I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
