He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
