she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
