I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
MIDGETS
????
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
