That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
