is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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