I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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