we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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