No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My vagina is officially offended.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
