I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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