Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
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