This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize