he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
