is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
