Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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