dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
