so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
