me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize