You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
