tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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