he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
