i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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