you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
