If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize