i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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