He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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