dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
