you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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