If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
