Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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