I wish i was in the wii world.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
