it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize