Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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